Co-worker has an air about her

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Dear Joan:
I work in an area with 11 other people. The woman at the desk next to mine is an OK person, but I believe she's never heard of deodorant! I try to ignore it, but I cringe if she heads in my direction. I think some other people notice it, too, but we never talk about it. Our supervisor is a man, and not the type you'd go to about personal issues. Do I have to tell? Or do I just put up with it?

Answer:
This is such a tricky situation. I took an informal poll of people in office situations and here's what they said:

1)     "Ask to have my seat moved."

2)     "Put a stick of deodorant in her coat pocket with a note: 'From a well-meaning friend.'"

3)     "Let the boss handle it."

4)     "Try the open honest approach."

This is one of those tough situations that make everyone uncomfortable. No matter who tells her, or how it's done, she will undoubtedly be embarrassed.

If you'd rather die than tell her yourself, you might want to try suggestions one, two or three listed above.

If this problem is affecting her interactions with co-workers - and ultimately her effectiveness - it's her boss' responsibility to talk to her about it. However, from your description of your boss, it seems that he might be too uncomfortable to talk to her about an issue like this.

If she has a friend in the office, you might want to talk with her about this problem. Be sure to emphasize your good intentions and ask for her help in figuring out how to tell her.

You might consider telling her yourself if you have a pretty good relationship with her. In one version of the "open, honest approach," you could stress the fact that you like her and you care about her and how others perceive her. You might also say that you hope she would reciprocate if there ever was anything you needed to know - no matter how personal.

Another version might sound more like a deodorant commercial but would blame the product and not the person. It might sound like this: "Whatever deodorant you're using is letting you down once in awhile. I've had that problem sometimes myself and I use.... It really seems to do the trick for me." Sound matter of fact and off-hand.

If you do tell her, take her aside and do it in a very private spot where you won't be interrupted. Be sure to chat with her informally later the same day. This friendly conversation will help both of you to overcome some of your discomfort.

This is a tough situation, and I give you credit for trying to find a way of sparing your co-worker from further embarrassment.

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