Departing employee faces charges of disloyalty

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Dear Joan: 
I have a situation I’d like your opinion on.  I was employed at my last job for a little over five years.  I was starting to get bored and I decided I wanted to go back to school to further my education.  My boss found out and was very sarcastic to me.  He said I was wasting my time and money.  I tried to disregard his comment, but I was hurt. 
 
Fast forward about another year and I am enjoying school.  I am starting the early process of applying to get my LPN license.  I would most likely have to quit in about six months.  My boss calls me in his office and tells me that he has to let me go because I forgot to clock out for lunch one day last month.  I told him I have no idea what he is talking about.  There are many days we don’t even get a lunch.  The place is very busy and I worked through lunch a lot. 
 
I asked him if I quit would he write me a letter of recommendation and he agreed.  I gave him my written letter of resignation and he said he would send me my letter.  It has been three months and I still do not have a letter, and I hear that he and his manager are still telling people I was fired for misconduct. 
 
I was approved for unemployment, but he is appealing it.  I am having a very hard time finding a job because he knows everyone in my field of work and rumor is I was fired.  The rumor around the business is he had to let me go because he hired someone new.  Since he knows I have future plans-- why keep me.  Prior to me getting “fired” I have never been written up.  I was rarely given an evaluation, but when I was it was all top marks.
 
My unemployment appeal is scheduled soon.  I still get along with almost everyone I worked with.  I do not want to ask them to be my witnesses since they all really need their jobs.  What should I do?  Do I have a chance, or should I just give in and let him win. 
 
Answer:
I’ve run across this kind of reaction before. At the risk of labeling him without knowing the situation first hand, it sounds as if he saw your desire to leave as disloyal and he took it as a personal rejection. Leaders who react this way typically are:
 
  • Focused on the business goals (and/or their own career goals at the company) and they assume that every employee shares the same long-term desire to stay at the company permanently.
  • Not developers of people. They tend to assume employees will work hard and wait for something to open up. They don’t have honest career discussions with employees that include opportunities elsewhere. Sometimes they even view someone leaving their department, to move to another department, as a defection.
  • Have an attitude of “Either you’re with me or you’re against me.” As long as you are on his/her team you are an insider but once you have the audacity to break ranks, you’re a “traitor” of sorts.
  • Clueless about how to motivate employees and win commitment. They think by badmouthing former employees, they will intimidate anyone else entertaining ideas of leaving.
Apparently he started looking for your replacement early, in anticipation of your announcement to leave. Then, it seems as if trumped up a lame excuse to fire you, so as not to lose the person he wanted to hire. The fact that he is talking about you after you have left only points to his unprofessionalism and immaturity, not to mention he reneged on his promise to write you a recommendation.
 
Go to the hearing with your facts. Spell them out honestly and unemotionally. Use documents you’ve collected, such as your resignation letter, performance reviews, letters of praise, raises and direct quotes from your conversations. Put together a precise timeline, showing how his actions correlate directly to your announcement. If people are afraid to speak up on your behalf, don’t take it personally. They are still working there and this manager has proven he is vindictive. When the economy picks up—and it will—they will be the next in line to leave.
 
During interviews, when you are asked why you left, say, “When I told my manager I was taking my career in a different direction, and going back to school in a different field, he was not supportive.” Be sure to give plenty of examples of outstanding performance, including his direct quotes and ratings on performance reviews. Do not discuss the unemployment hearing.
 
Be sure to line up references, who are former colleagues, who will speak in glowing terms about your record there. In addition, find other references such as vendors, consultants and former employers. Sometimes working for a staffing agency will put distance between you and a negative job reference. In addition, there are firms that will call a former employer to find out what kind of reference they give. A follow up call from an attorney can be useful to put a stop to unethical or illegal actions.
 
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