Find out if an employer’s ‘family friendly’ promises are real

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Dear Joan:
When I was interviewing for my previous position, the company worked very hard to sell themselves to me. I was told repeatedly how "family friendly" they were and how ideal this position was for a working mom. The position was sold as offering complete flexibility, work-at-home options, with a supervisor who understands family demands. It sounded like a great fit for my needs.

After getting into the company, I found out that none of these things were true. The supervisor never had children of her own and had absolutely no idea about what being a parent requires. In fact, she didn't even like children. When I got the dreaded calls from day care to come pick him up, she complained about it and demanded a plan to make up the time before I left. She often commented, "Kids need to know work comes first." I was even told that I shouldn't call day care to check on my child during the day! It was obvious that this culture was not really a good fit for me rather quickly.

In today's business world, the "family friendly" claim has become a common selling point to attract good employees. But as a professional woman who is also a mom, I need to know who's selling and who's telling. When an employer embellishes the truth in order to "snag" good employees, it creates a bad match and no one wins. How can professional moms out here separate the sellers from the tellers? What questions can be asked during the interview process? What statistics should we look for to indicate a company's real culture? How can we prevent getting into positions that conflict with our family's needs?

I am active in a professional women's organization and find that these issues are common to many of us. Many of us are looking at our professional options with a suspicious eye because of past misrepresentations. We would love to garner any tools you could share.

Answer:
Competition has raised the bar, which creates increased pressure to get results with fewer people. In many cases, companies are operating with jobs left unfilled, or filled with less skilled workers who need extra training. That's the reality employers face. It's no surprise that they would be trying to make their organizations attractive to good employees by trying to be more "family friendly." But delivering on that promise is becoming harder to do.

Today, with the labor shortage, companies are forced to find a middle ground - flexible enough to recruit and keep good people and yet firm enough to get the job done. This balancing act is getting even more difficult to pull off in the last few years because many other groups are demanding flexibility from employers. For instance, employees with aging parents want time off to care for ill parents, disabled employees want accommodations on the job and modified hours, and unmarried partners want the same benefits that traditional couples get. Even single, childless employees are beginning to demand equal treatment. After all, they say, why should we be forced to stay on the job and work all the extra hours, when other people are taking off to take care of their personal issues?

Family friendly policies are usually up to the managers to interpret and administer. Since your manager had no experience or empathy for your situation, it's easy to see how the company's good intentions didn't help you, however, I will add one caveat. Although I think your manager was insensitive when she said, "Kids need to know that work comes first," I do think employers have the right to expect employees to make up the time they take off, and they are justified in expecting employees to be focused on the job while they are there. In other words, an occasional phone call during working hours to check on your child (especially when he was ill) is appropriate, while frequent phone calls during the workday is not. If you were frequently leaving work early and preoccupied with family matters at work, your manager was justified in asking you to limit calls and to make a plan to make up the time.

As a professional, I think it's safe to assume you realize the importance of excellent performance on the job. If you're like most working moms I know, I suspect that what you are looking for is a little understanding and flexibility, in exchange for a job well done. Here are some things to ask and steps to take, before you take your next job.

§      Be honest during the interview about your family situation. Explain the needs you have for flexibility, but be sure to reinforce the idea that you also understand your responsibility to produce results on the job. Have this conversation with the person who would be hiring you.

§      Ask for the demographics of the workforce. (Sometimes this is available in an annual report or on the company's Web page.) When you are told about a "family friendly" policy such as work-at-home options, ask how many people actually use these options. In addition, ask how many use them in the department you'd be working in.

§      Ask questions about turnover. Then follow up with questions about why they left, what percentage were women and what the average age was. Sometimes you can stumble on a trend even if women didn't give their real reason for leaving during their exit interview.

§      Ask how many part-time and job sharing situations there are in the company. Family friendly companies are more willing to try to make these accommodations for good employees in order to keep them.

§      Ask how many women returned to work after pregnancy leave. This is a good indicator because these women know firsthand if the company is really "family friendly."

§      When you are told, "This job has complete flexibility," probe for examples. Listen closely to see if any examples include child-related situations.

§      If you have been made an offer, ask if you can talk to several people in your work area to learn a little more about the culture, so you can be sure it's a good match. Ask them lots of questions about the culture, don't just focus in on family-related flexibility. (The employer will begin to fear that this will be a problem area if they hire you.)

§      Network in your professional organization to find out which companies really do mean what they say.

§      Do a search on the Internet for books about good places to work for women, as well as recent articles in magazines and your local newspaper.

Do you need answers to tough job hunting questions?  Are you looking for some added punch to help you stand out from the crowd?  Joan Lloyd’s has developed job hunting tools that can help you to maximize your job search:

Savvy Negotiation Strategies to Get Paid What You’re Worth on a New Job (Detailed, special report)
Easy, Step-by-step Guide to Using the Internet to Land a Great Job (Detailed, special report)
How to Get Your Dream Job (VHS video)

The Resume that Gets Results and the Interview that Gets the Job (37 page, detailed instructions)