Readers react to recent "sloppy appearance" article
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My recent column about a woman whose productivity dipped on days she came to work in sloppy attire sparked a rash of reader comments. I agree with all of them, with one caveat, which I will note.
Following are some excerpts taken from the dozens of letter I received:
“This woman is exhibiting all the classic symptoms of clinical depression. Her work doesn't suffer because her clothes are sloppy (try to show me a scientifically provable cause / effect there!), her work is suffering because she can't stay focused on ANYTHING, and her clothes are messy because she had to exert a supreme effort of will power just to drag herself out of bed and couldn't muster the energy the night before to wash anything.
Having a ‘Come to Jesus’ talk with her is like telling a paraplegic to ‘just get better.’ It won't help. She needs psychiatric care, and probably medication. Once the right meds and balance of dosage is found, she will be one of the best and brightest.
Badgering her about her clothes gets you a better than even chance of having a suicide on your hands. Try and wash that off, Ophelia...
I speak from experience. Been that person, and still am. Drugs get me through the day, keep me productive, but a little understanding and compassion from the corporate drones out there would do much more!”
Joan’s comment: (You may be right but jumping to that conclusion without asking her to share what is causing this erratic behavior may make matters worse. I recommend a heart-to-heart, not a come to Jesus meeting.)
“There must be something going on in her home life too. Perhaps she has family and children that she must care for before she comes to work in the morning and the last thing she thinks about is her own appearance before she rushes off to work in the morning. Perhaps her time management skills in the morning prior to coming to work are not great; i.e. she needs to set her alarm clock a little sooner, but to me she has home problems written all over her appearance. I hope that her managers take the time to care enough to find out what is going on and help her.”
“I find this article very interesting in that I used to wear very casual clothes to work. I always wanted to wear business jackets, but didn't have enough money to buy them. Someone gave me a lot of jackets and sleeveless tops. I started to wear them to work and suddenly my whole outlook changed. I work better, feel better and am taken seriously. And may I also add, second hand stores such as Goodwill and Salvation Army are wonderful places. You can get designer clothes cheap. Plus you are helping those in need, while keeping the clothes out of the dumpsters. So you can be very green by shopping at those stores. I would advise anyone, dress where you want to be.”
“Your response to the Sloppy Appearance question seemed diametrically opposed to your guidance in your coaching and feedback CD. For example the opener:
You have great interpersonal skills and you’re smart…and if you want to advance in your career, I think you have what it would take. But there is something in your way and I’m sure you’d want to know what it is.
Doesn’t this violate the ‘Keep it pure’ ground rule? You start off with a compliment, then go for the problem. ‘But’ is the international signal for ‘Danger Will Robinson! You have just been setup! Prepare to defend yourself.’ Everything before the ‘But’ is now irrelevant and an attempt to sugar-coat the real message creating confusion (which is why I really like your ‘Keep it Pure’ ground rule – It works!)
It also appears that you are linking two separate problems. One is erratic behavior (I would think that there is something deeper here – substance abuse or domestic and/or personal problems) and the other is poor appearance (which I would think of as a symptom). Your coaching seems to focus on is the symptom, not the cause. Almost as if coming in well dressed will excuse the low productivity.
Based on what I’ve learned from your coaching CD, the proper approach would be (Using DESC….)
Describe
I would like to talk to you about a pattern I’ve noticed over the last XXX weeks. Your engagement and your productivity seem to vary dramatically from day to day. Most days are fine, but then you hit a day like last (Thursday?) where you were clearly preoccupied.
Effect
The difference in both engagement and productivity between your good days and your bad days is striking. The problem is that I don’t know who is going to show up from day to day and it is starting to affect my decisions on the level of responsibility I feel I can assign you.
Solicit
Is there something going on that I need to know about or that you can share.
Choose
Come up with an action plan together.
Did I miss something??? Thanks for your wonderful website and real-world examples.”
Confronting poor performance, or difficult behaviors, is difficult. Joan Lloyd’s
How to Coach & Give Feedback CD is a step-by-step approach to giving feedback to your employees, your coworkers, or even your boss. Actually reduces defensiveness and encourages open communication.
Joan Lloyd is a Milwaukee based executive coach and organizational & leadership development strategist. She is known for her ability to help leaders and their teams achieve measurable, lasting improvements. Joan Lloyd & Associates, specializes in leadership development, organizational change and teambuilding, providing: executive coaching, CEO coaching & team coaching, 360-degree feedback processes, customized training (leadership skills, presentation skills, internal consulting skills & facilitation skills), team conflict resolution and retreat facilitation.
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