Speak for yourself when asked to be authority on your race

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Dear Joan,
I am a professional, a woman, a minority and I work for a firm in a large city. I have a co-worker who insists on making comments about race and seems to feel that I am THE authority for my race in this regard. I am not flattered. Being the only minority in the office, I would like to bring this issue to his/her attention without distancing our professional relationship. Surely there are others faced with my same predicament and could understand my situation.

I do not feel that I am a "diversity" individual and I refuse to accept personal responsibility for teaching every other race about "what it feels like" to be (insert race).   Your comments are appreciated.

Answer:
Your letter seems to suggest that this person doesn’t have much contact with other people in your racial group. On the positive side, your co-worker is interested and curious and wants to learn more. Unfortunately, the fact that he or she is regarding you as the spokesperson, further perpetuates the stereotype that all members of a race think and act alike.

I, too, have been in a similar situation, when among a group of men and someone says, "Joan, what do women think about this issue?"

It’s important for you to stay patient with your co-worker’s well-intentioned attempts. You need to maintain a good working relationship with the person, and you don’t want to alienate any other co-worker. If you react with irritation, sarcasm or anger, you will look like the one with the problem.

The first thing I would try is a little humor, with the hope that your co-worker will get the hint. For instance, the next time you are asked to speak on behalf of your race, say with good humor, "Hey, I’ll be the spokesperson on behalf of my entire race, if you’ll be the spokesperson for all men on this subject. But I’ll gladly tell you my personal opinion, if you’re interested."

Another approach is to simply say, "I have no idea what everyone else thinks. I’m sure there are as many opinions among the (insert race) community, as there are among the (insert race) community."

If your co-worker persists, try a more straightforward approach, "I can only speak for myself. If I tried to speak for everyone, it would be perpetuating the stereotype that all people of my race think and act alike. If you really want to find out what others think, there are lots of community activities where you could get to know more people and find out."

No matter what you say, keep an upbeat tone and an attitude of helpfulness.

Dear Joan:
I have a co-worker who has access to confidential and personal information on other co-workers. She divulges this information to employees who have no business knowing these things. I have confronted her once, and our branch manager on several occasions, yet it is allowed to continue. I am talking about information such as reviews, raises, and wages. How can this be resolved without putting myself in a bad spot? I have not informed the employees, whose information is being shared, that this has happened. I don’t want to be a troublemaker. I know however, that this is grounds for termination according to our company code of ethics booklet. I am really stumped. She has been caught doing this more than once and it seems the branch manager allows her to do it. I would appreciate any help.

Answer:
I suggest that you approach your branch manager once again and tell him or her about specific instances. Mention the code of ethics booklet and explain that you feel compelled to speak to someone above the branch manager if something is not done. It is indeed grounds for termination.

Every employee has the right to expect that this information is private. The employee who is sharing this information has demonstrated that she is not trustworthy and does not show good judgment. An employee like this is a liability, no matter what her other attributes.

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