Taking time off to care for a sick child shouldn’t put anyone on the firing line

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Dear Joan:
Since re-entering the job market as a secretary four years ago, I have encountered two recurring problems.

The primary question is that of having to stay home to care for a sick child. I am honest with my employers about this problem and always take the time off without pay. Even though I may have to take only one or two days off a year, I get the feeling that managers are not too happy with this situation. Is it possible for my company to terminate me because of this?

My second question is that of having to do my manager's personal work. In my previous position I was expected to assist my boss with his personal projects. When I interviewed for my new job, I was told I would be doing the same type of thing! I don't feel it is my place to take care of their personal lives. I believe that I am not the only secretary who encounters this.

Answer:
As long as your performance and attendance are good, you won't be terminated for taking a few days off to care for your sick child.

It's unfortunate that your honesty isn't rewarded with more understanding from your managers. Could you arrange to have someone cross-trained as your replacement for situations when you or your child are sick? Your managers probably wouldn't be concerned if your work was completed by someone else. The person who takes over when you are on vacation would be the logical choice.

You'd be wise to find a caretaker for your child who could step in on short notice. In fact, Milwaukee, as well as other metropolitan areas, now has sick-child centers in hospitals and day-care centers. Some services are now providing well-trained caretakers for home care. These services can be relatively expensive, but may provide relief for you if you're pressured at work. Of course, your willingness to use these services depends on the needs of your child and the nature of the illness. Sometimes no one but a parent will do.

Since you are "getting the feeling" your managers aren't happy with the situation, you need to find out for sure so you can clear the air. Say: "I get the feeling you're concerned because I took off yesterday to care for my child. (Then explain why you had no alternative.) "I realize it inconveniences you when I must take a day off occasionally, but I really don't think there's any way around it."

"I would like to train someone as a backup person for these situations, so my work is done."
Then, carefully listen to the response and watch the body language. By bringing the issue out into the open, you're likely to get an honest response from your managers. Even if they don't like it, only a Scrooge wouldn't understand it.

Now, about the personal work your bosses ask you to do - I'm afraid you may be too late. During your interview, your managers clearly stated that it was part of the job. If you strongly object, that was the time to negotiate or turn down the job offer.

I can't blame you for resenting this, however. I've heard many secretaries say they feel like maids, wives or slaves when they're expected to run personal errands.

Some personal projects may be a part of your boss' career - even though they aren't in his or her job description. Job-related professional or volunteer organizations may fall into this category. If these tasks get in the way of accomplishing your results, say something. Suffering in silence while your work piles up and your performance ratings go down is not part of the deal. Your bosses wouldn't let it happen to their jobs - you shouldn't either.

If you are given a personal task to do at a bad time, say, "I'll do this for you, but it will mean I can't finish the memo you needed by 2 o'clock." By giving your managers a choice of priorities, you're likely to make your point without alienating them.