Some tips on the fine art of learning to network

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Dear Joan:
I watch your TV segment all the time and I also read your newspaper columns. In both of them you're always talking about how important networking is. I'm convinced you're right. The problem is knowing how to do it.

I know WHERE to go. But once I get there, I don't know anyone, so I end up barely speaking a word to anyone. I'm very uncomfortable in these situations. Any tips for meeting colleagues and not being so shy?

Answer:
Networking requires three ingredients: one part know-how, one part savvy and one part guts. Your more gregarious colleagues may be able to simply show up and strike up a conversation with anyone. But for more reticent among us, networking is a challenge.

Let's start with the know-how. When you go to a professional meeting where you don't know may people, call the membership chairperson a few days before the event. Their job is to mix with the crowd, introduce people and recruit any guests who might be attending. Explain that you don't know many people and you'd like to meet more people in the group. The membership chair will probably jump at the chance to meet you at the event and introduce you during the social hour. If he or she is busy, a different board member will be happy to fill that role. Will they feel put out? It's not likely, since most board members see recruiting and initiating members into "active duty" their chief responsibility.

What you may realize is that most people in the room don't know each other either and they are feeling just as awkward as you are. As you look around the room, the people who seem to be well connected are (or were) actively involved in the organization. That's how they got so comfortable with each other. Chances are, many of them have served on a committee together. Monthly meetings aren't frequent enough to build that kind of camaraderie. If you want to get to know people fast, ask to join a committee that interests you. In fact, if you ask the membership chair to explain the available committees, he or she will probably connect you to that chairperson and that person will be happy to introduce you to fellow members at the next event.

You don't necessarily have to accompany someone to have a successful networking experience. Stand near the bar, the registration table or the food, Look people in the eye and smile warmly. (You'll be amazed at how many people will introduce themselves simply because you've smiled at them.) Extend your hand after you've glanced at their nametag and say, "Hi Larry. My name's Sandra. I'm a computer analyst with General Electric." One they introduce themselves and tell you what they do and where they work, keep on asking questions." Oh that must be interesting! What's your favorite part of your job? Are you from this are? Have you worked there a long time? Have you always been in this field? What are you working on now? People love to talk about themselves and there's no better way to get to know if you have anything in common to pursue in more depth.

Great networkers seem to master what I call "spotlighting" fellow members. They shine the spotlight on other people's accomplishments as they introduce them to each other. For example, you've been talking to Cathy and a woman with the tag "Susan" is standing nearby. You break away from Cathy just long enough to say, "Hi Susan, I'm Joan. Do you and Cathy know each other? Cathy's division was just featured in the newspaper for great customer service." Not only does Cathy bask in the glory of being recognized, Susan now has a natural lead in to ask her more about it. As the conversation begins, the master networker may move off to meet and great other colleagues. People love being around "spotlighters." It feels so good. Because they attract people, their network grows quickly.

Here's another ingredient the savvy networkers use. Seasoned networkers often have the ability to see connections and play matchmaker. For instance, if they see Tom across the room and remember that Tom is starting up his own consulting business, they scan the room and find potential customers for him. Then they approach Tom and say, "Tom, how's your new business going? Say, I noticed that Jake Tipper is here. He may be able to use some of your services. Let's go say hello. I'll introduce you."

Another technique is to be an avid news hound and use the information to start discussions. For example, "Say, I notice that you work for Dynoflex. What did you think of that story in the paper about your industry's future growth?" Another good source of topics is within your own professional area. For instance if you're in a group of health care professionals, it's a safe bet that most people in the room would respond to, "So what kind of changes are you seeing in your organization?"

You've probably noticed a few common themes. First: ask questions that get people talking about themselves. Second: get involved. Third: be a goodwill ambassador. If you keep the focus on other people it will help you overcome your shyness and at the same time, people will want to make you a key person in their network.

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