It’s time to cut ties with former employer

Dear Joan:
In August 1985, my employers fired me without any explanation. But I am still getting inquiries as to how things were run when I was there, how to operate certain programs on the computer and other information. I feel that since they were the ones who got rid of me, I really owe them nothing.

I left all materials, notes and documentation of everything that I had set up with my immediate boss. He has since left and I'm being plagued with questions again. It's not so much the questions, but that they're using my friends to get the answers. What can I do?

Answer:
You're right, you owe them nothing. Whether you worked there 20 years or 20 minutes, the umbilical cord should have been cut last August.

It's interesting that you have allowed the "torment" to continue. It simply takes a decision on your part to stop supplying them with information.

Maybe you're feeling smug that your former employer has to come back to you for the answers that no one else can provide. And it's understandable that your ego could need to boost after the blow of being fired.

The fact that your former employer is using friends to get information from yo is particularly distasteful. However, you seem to be confusing loyalty to friends with loyalty to your ex-employer.
You may be providing answers to your friends in an effort to regain the "face" you think you lost when you were fired.

Perhaps part of the problem is that you still feel some ownership for the programs you created.  In any event, your situation points out the importance of cross-training a back-up for all jobs.  Your former employer was naive in more ways than one. First, he fired first and asked questions later. Later, when your old boss left, the company did not obtain the information needed for a smooth transition.

Judging from the management decisions made thus far by your former employer, I'd say you're fortunate to be rid of him.

If you're still unemployed, it's time to get on with the task of finding a new job. If you're secretly hoping you'll be called back to work by your old employer, you're probably going to be disappointed. The next time a friend calls and sheepishly asks a question, simply say: "I know you're in an awkward position, and I don't feel this is fair to either one of us."

If your friend is actually the one taking advantage of you, he or she will be able to save face. If your friend, as you suspect, is being pressured to call, he or she will be able to end this uncomfortable situation once and for all.